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Post by John S. Rhodes on Nov 7, 2015 4:16:32 GMT
His mind was still reeling. How could this have happened? Why hadn’t she told him? There were so many questions swarming his brain that his head was starting to pound. How could Kat have kept something like this from him? Leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed over his chest, he gazed at her as she slept. The light from the hall was spilling into the dark room and across her sleeping face, flushed from the fever. A part of him had known all along, but he’d put too much faith in Kat. He told himself that she would have told him if Elia was his, so he’d ignored all the signs. He was so unsure of everything now. This changed so much… how could he ever forgive Katerina for keeping such a secret from him? She was the love of his life, but this? This was the ultimate deception. She hadn’t just lied to him; she’d lied to Elia too. Because of this, John had missed everything and Elia knew nothing of her own father. He’d been robbed of the opportunity to see the birth of his child and to be one of the first to hold her in his arms after entering this world. He’d missed her first steps, he first words, her birthdays, holidays, everything. He couldn’t get those moments back. All this time, John had resented the man who fathered her, only to find out that he was the one who’d abandoned her. He was the one who let her down. Watching her sleep was so surreal. He had a daughter. Now that he was finally allowing the truth in, he could see it in her features… the blue eyes, the contours of her face, her complexion… he could see himself in there, blended in so perfectly with Kat. It hurt to know that his daughter didn’t have a single clue who he even was. Grabbing the doorknob, John shut the door as quietly as he could, careful not to wake her. The more he thought about it, the angrier he was getting. How dare she keep Elia from him? What had he done to deserve being shut out of his daughter’s life?! Yes, he’d broken up with her, but in what way did that excuse this. Heading into the kitchen, John grabbed a beer from the fridge and sat down in one of the chairs rather heavily, propping his arms n the table and covering his face with his hands. After a moment, he let out a sigh, running his hands over his head and then to the back of his neck. Was she ever going to tell him? If it hadn’t been for Elia showing him her book and her birth certificate being in it, he probably would have spent the rest of his life in the dark. Sitting upright again, he took a long drink of the beer and pulled the birth certificate toward him. When he’d seen it earlier, he’d been dumbfounded, reading the name of Elia’s father again and again, as if he was expecting it to change before his very eyes. Of course he hadn’t said anything to Elia. Not yet, but he was going to fucking make sure that that little girl found out who her father was. She was his and from there on out, he was going to be the father she needed. For the past month, he’d been trying to get back on Kat’s good side, attempting to show her that he could be a father to her daughter. He hadn’t expected to find out that he really was her father though. Now it looked like Kat was the one who had to get back on his good side. Leaning back in the chair, John propped his feet up on the kitchen table, drinking his beer and waiting. He was radiating anger, and he knew that he wasn’t going to be able to stop himself from yelling at her for the things she’d done. Pain was tearing through his body and, for once, it had nothing to do with the after effects of his injuries from overseas. No, this pain originated from deep inside his chest, worse than when he’d been shot. He didn’t move from his spot when he heard the sound of her coming through the door and he sure as hell didn’t care how late it was or how hard she’d worked that day. He wanted to talk about it then and there. John |
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Post by Katerina M. Montgomery on Nov 7, 2015 5:17:15 GMT
”Have a nice night!” The cashier said to her in what seemed like an over-exaggeration of enthusiasm. Especially since it didn’t make it to the girl’s eyes. ”You too.” Kat said back to her as she grabbed the bag full of things specifically for Elia and walked towards the door she came in. Honestly she didn’t know how good of a night it would actually turn into seeing as she planned on finally telling John the truth about Elia. After seeing how he acted around her, him being a father to her when he thought she was some other man’s child… she knew it was more than time to tell him the truth. Katerina expected him to be angry, why wouldn’t he be after all? He definitely had a right to be, missing all the important milestones of Elia’s life. She knew that none of her excuses and reasons would be good enough, not now anyway. There was no validity to any of them except that she had chickened out and kept putting it off. The entire idea had her stomach in knots and she felt like she might get sick at any moment. Wouldn’t that be wonderful? Throwing up in the middle of such an important moment. It took her a couple of tries before she was able to slip the key into the ignition, her hands were shaking a bit as she turned the key and the engine came to life. The entire way home Katerina blared the music hoping to drown out her thoughts before she scared herself into putting it off again. She needed to get it over with tonight… then they could figure out how to move forward from there. In all honesty she wouldn’t be surprised if he didn’t want anything to do with her except when it had to do with Elia. She knew she had been in the wrong, keeping it from him for so long. It’d break her heart but if he no longer wanted to have anything to do with her she would accept it, it was her doing anyway. Katerina pulled the car up into her drive and cut off the engine… then sat there for a long moment. She lifted a hand in front of her eyes and it was beginning to shake like a leaf. It looked like she had drank entirely too much caffeine. ”Here goes nothing.” She said to herself, grabbing her purse and the bag from the passenger seat and got out, keys in hand. If she made it through this she was definitely treating herself to a whole bottle of wine… she had a feeling she would need it after whatever was about to happen. Kat unlocked the door and slid inside, setting the keys on the table beside the door and shutting it behind her and then locking it again. It was a habit that she hoped she never got out of, immediately locking the door when she got home. She stopped for a moment and listened and felt that something had to be off… the tv wasn’t on and the livingroom light was off while the kitchen one remained on. That sick feeling returned as she walked through the livingroom and into the kitchen and paused there, taking in John sitting there with his feet propped up on her dining table beer in hand and Elia’s birth certificate laying out where it would be obvious. Shit. There went her chance of telling him. He definitely wasn’t going to believe her if she told him she meant to tell him tonight now. Shit. She hadn’t prepared for this. Crap. Katerina set her purse and the bag down on the counter and ran a shaky hand through her hair. ”You know.” She said, stating the obvious. Honestly she didn’t know what else to say besides things he obviously wouldn’t care about… not as angry as he was right then. She had only seen him this angry a few times before, but it had never been at her. That bottle of wine was starting to sound better and better. Kat
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Post by John S. Rhodes on Nov 7, 2015 6:34:02 GMT
"Know what?" John asked her, his voice laced with venom. He didn't move from his spot and drained the last of his beer before setting the empty bottle on the table, harder than he'd meant to. "That you lied to me? That you didn't tell me you were pregnant? Or maybe that the five year old sleeping in the other happens to be my own daughter and I didn't even know about it because her mother refused to tell me?"
Letting the front legs of the chair fall back onto the floor as he pulled his legs off of the table, John got to his feet, unable to sit still any longer. Fury was bubbling up inside of him and he couldn't recall ever having been this mad at Kat before. The last thing John wanted to do was yell and risk waking Elia, but he couldn't help it. He was just so furious. "WHY? How could you keep something like this from me?! Were you ever even going to tell me?! Or was I supposed to go through the rest of my life without knowing that I had a kid?!" His voice was growing louder and he was positively fuming. If looks could kill, Kat probably would have spontaneously combusted right then and there.
"WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING?! YOU HAD NO RIGHT TO KEEP SOMETHING LIKE THIS TO ME," John yelled, pointing toward the birth certificate. "AND YOU HAD NO RIGHT TO DO THIS TO HER, EITHER! DON'T YOU THINK SHE DESERVES TO KNOW WHO HER FATHER IS?! WHAT HAVE YOU TOLD HER?! THAT HER FATHER ABANDONED HER?! THAT HE DIDN'T LOVE HER ENOUGH TO STAY?! CAUSE YOU AND I BOTH KNOW THAT YOU DIDN'T TELL HER THE TRUTH, THAT HER FATHER HAD NO CLUE BECAUSE HER MOTHER HER MOTHER DECIDED TO BE SELFISH AND NOT SAY ANYTHING!"
John was starting to pace back and forth, angrily running his hand through his dark hair. "WAS THIS SUPPOSED TO BE MY PUNISHMENT FOR BREAKING UP WITH YOU? BECAUSE YOU REALLY GOT ME, KAT, YOU GOT ME GOOD. UNFORTUNATELY, I'M NOT THE ONLY VICTIM OF YOUR FUCKING LIES." Looking at her right then, he wasn't sure what to think anymore. "I just spent the past month trying to win you back because there was nothing I regretted more than leaving you and not starting a family." For the hundredth time that night, John wondered what could have possessed her to keep this from him. "Do you really hate me that much?! What the fuck did I do to deserve this?! What did she do to deserve this?! Do you have any idea what I missed because of you?! DO YOU?!"
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Post by Katerina M. Montgomery on Nov 7, 2015 8:01:33 GMT
As John yelled at her, saying everything she had ever imagined he would say in this moment and then some she just stood there and took it. Katerina knew she deserved it, had always known deep down in a place she had tucked everything about him that family was everything to him. And she had kept his daughter from him. It didn't matter in that moment that she had indeed been planning on telling him because he already knew and there was nothing she could do to go back in time and make her tell him as he was walking away from her that she was pregnant with his child. She braced herself against the cool wall of the kitchen, trying to keep off the heat that threatened she'd be sick. He'd probably laugh at her if she threw up now.
Katerina didn't know which part of him scared her more, him screaming at her or him not screaming at her. Either way it was evident in the way he moved and spoke that he was just getting angrier at her the more he went on. He had definitely had time to gather all of these thoughts. She wanted to wipe the tiny beads of sweat forming on her brow away but she refused to show a sign of weakness... she had always been able to hold her own against him and even though this entire thing was her fault she wasn't just going to let him yell at her without trying to defend herself. Whatever good that would do her.
Holding up her right hand she said "Look, I understand I was in the wrong. I've known that for the past five years. I KNOW that I should have told you. I KNOW that you missed all of those milestones that father's should be there for. I KNOW that I should have told you a million different times that you had a daughter John. But after the first chance slipped away from me it got harder and harder to get up the nerve." She finally allowed herself to set her hand over her stomach, praying silently that it would settle down and not embarrass her now.
"I meant to tell you that night. The night of your graduation but you beat me to it with your own news. Was I supposed to tell you, as you walked away from me taking all of my hopes and dreams with you, that I was pregnant? You didn't want me. I wasn't going to make you think I was trying to hold you back or keep you around when you obviously didn't want to be. In that moment I figured raising our child alone, or with the help of our family, would be a lot easier than knowing that the only reason you might have stayed is because I happened to be carrying your child." She still remembered that feeling of her heart breaking into a million pieces and knowing that she had to figure out a way to put herself back together for the precious life growing inside of her.
She was shaking again and for a moment she thought she really would vomit but amazingly she was able to swallow and keep it down. "I know the longer I kept it from you the worse it'd be and I tried to write you... to tell you everything about your daughter. But I crumpled everyone of them up because I knew a letter with a photograph attached wasn't the way to tell you." Katerina looked away from him for a moment as she collected her thoughts. "There were a few times when you were in town on leave that I would drive all the way over to your mother's house, all ready to tell you and then I'd see you through a window or walking outside and I would suddenly chicken out and just keep on driving. And then I'd kick myself later when you'd shipped out again." She stifled a sigh and moved around him to sit down in the chair opposite where he had been sitting when she had come in.
Katerina knew she was putting herself in a vulnerable position, sitting down while he was this angry at her, but she couldn't stand any longer. "I wasn't trying to punish you, and I certainly have never hated you... I might have wanted to, but I couldn't. Don't think that I don't know what this secret has done to either of you. It's one of the most prominent things I think about as I fall asleep at night and when I wake up in the morning. I wanted to tell you that night of your welcome home party and every day since then. But I didn't know how." Kat told him picking up a napkin from the center of the table and shredding it nervously.
Kat looked up at him, knowing that nothing she had said so far really excused what she did and this time she did sigh. "I could sit here all night trying to explain myself to you though, but at the end it doesn't take away the fact that I did it. I can't go back in time and make myself tell you to stop, that I needed to tell you something before you go. Trust me I wish I could. It makes me sick physically knowing how angry you are with me and that I put myself in the position for you to hate me. I completely understand if you never forgive me, John... but I honestly never intended to hurt you or Elia, especially not Elia." Just thinking about her daughter she glanced from John to the hallway which Elia's room was down and silently hoped she was still asleep despite the yelling.
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Post by John S. Rhodes on Nov 7, 2015 16:38:49 GMT
"YESSSS! OF COURSE YOU SHOULD HAVE TOLD ME RIGHT THEN AND THERE! DO YOU REALLY THINK I WAS LEAVING YOU BECAUSE I DIDN'T WANT YOU?! I WAS LEAVING YOU BECAUSE I COULDN'T STAND THE IDEA OF BEING WITH YOU, BUT NOT BEING WITH YOU! I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE EASIER TO LET YOU GO INSTEAD OF HOLDING ONTO YOU AND HAVING YOU LOSE INTEREST WHILE I WAS OVERSEAS! AND HERE, I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONE WHO MADE THE BIGGEST FUCKING MISTAKE OF MY LIFE THAT DAY, BY LEAVING THE ONLY GIRL I EVER REALLY LOVED INSTEAD OF ASKING YOU TO MARRY ME, LIKE I'D BEEN PLANNING!"
It was the first time John had ever mentioned this to her. Back then, the only person who knew of his plans to marry Kat was his mother and he clearly remembered how upset she'd been when he told her he'd broken up with her instead. John still had the ring too, tucked away safely. "JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHO ELSE FUCKING KNOWS, KAT? DOES EVERYONE KNOW BUT ME?! DOES ERIC KNOW?!" As much as John hated her for keeping this from him, knowing that his family and friends probably knew about this just made things worse. Was he really so awful to all of them that they didn't feel that he deserved to know? He knew that Eric knew. He'd become so close to Kat and Elia since John had been gone, how could he not? That was what hurt him the most. His brother and the love of his life had conspired together to keep this from him. What had he ever done to his brother to deserve that? "DOES HE?!"
Walking toward her and towering over her, John wanted nothing more than to take her by the shoulders and shake some sense into her, but he refrained, afraid that he might hurt her. No matter how much she'd hurt him, he still couldn't fathom laying a hand on her. When he spoke again, his voice was lower, but still just as laced with seething anger. "You have no idea how guilty I felt for leaving you. I regretted it the instant the words were out of my mouth, but I thought I was doing the right thing. The last thing I wanted was for you to be the one to leave me or, worse, for me to fucking die over there, leaving behind a wife and children to wonder why their father wasn't coming home. I didn't want you?! Thinking about you was the one thing that pulled me through that hell hole!"
Opening the chest pocket of his jacket, John pulled out the one thing that had kept him going through his deployments, flashing it in front of her face before laying it down on the table, on top of their daughter's birth certificate. There their secrets were, finally laid out on the table for all to see... literally and figuratively. It was a picture of her, worn from being handled so much. There was a hole in it where the bullet had pierced through it, but her perfect form still remained intact. There was old, dried blood on the photo and he recalled holding onto it tightly in the helicopter that had lifted him out of there. "And there it is, MY secret. I never stopped wanting or loving you for even a second, Kat. If you'd told me you were pregnant, I would have stayed because I loved you and wanted to have a family with you, not just because you were pregnant."
Staring at her with those intense blue eyes of his, there was more than anger in there. There was pain, longing, and regret. How differently would things have played out if he'd asked her to marry him that day instead? Or if she'd told him that she was pregnant instead of letting him just walk away? They'd both made mistakes that day, but could he really forgive her for hers? "I can't get those moments back, Kat, and neither can she."
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Post by Katerina M. Montgomery on Nov 7, 2015 17:36:16 GMT
The nausea only grew as she sat there and Katerina couldn't remember feeling this sick in years. Briefly she wondered if she had gotten whatever stomach bug Elia had gotten. All she really wanted to do right then was go into her bedroom and curl up in the fetal position on her bed. But she couldn't, just walking was likely to make her throw up but then again sitting wasn't doing anything for her either. Kat tried to push it down by focusing on his words, his anger... if she hadn't ever seen him this angry before she probably would have been terrified of him. Of course it came as a blow to hear him say that he had intended on asking her to marry him but that hadn't happened, he had broken her heart instead. Looking up at him she could only bring herself to nod as he asked if everyone else knew... if Eric knew. What was she supposed to say? That she had told some of them while others had figured it out on their own? It wasn't like it was that hard to figure out to be honest as she hadn't been openly with anyone after he had left her.
There were obvious tears in her eyes as he told her how he had felt guilty for breaking things off with her, but had done it because he hadn't wanted to die and leave her a widow and their kids without a father. But that shouldn't have been his decision to make. She had been ready to stand behind him as he went off to war, would she have been devastated if he had died overseas? OF COURSE but she would have been devastated whether they were married or not. Didn't he know that? God none of this was helping her stomach settle, especially not as he pulled the picture of her out of his jacket pocket, a bullet hole in the paper and dried blood clinging to it.
Katerina wanted to say something, was in fact about to say something, but instead covered her mouth with her hand and suddenly lunged out of the chair and raced out of the kitchen and into the guest bathroom. She barely had time to get the lid up before she was puking inside the toilet, sitting on her knees in front of it. Shockingly enough he followed her into the bathroom and held her hair out of the way as she puked again. God this was awful. She wanted to tell him how truly sorry she was for keeping Elia a secret for all this time when all she could do was puke her guts out. Honestly she hadn't been this sick since before she found out she was pregnant with Elia.
She was in the middle of dry heaving into the toilet when that last thought registered. Shit. When had she last had her period? Katerina was positive that it should have came by now. Fuck. What a great time for this to happen. She made an audible groan, partly from how fucking sick she was, and because she just knew what this meant. "Shit." She said shaking her head in denial as she did the math in her head "No. No no no no no. Crap. She added as she leaned her forehead against the cool porcelain seat of the toilet. Not even caring that someone's ass had been sitting on it at some point. This couldn't be happening. For once she actually kind of wished it were just a stomach bug she had. "I'm late... like super late." Kat said practically into the toilet just as another wave hit her. If this kept up the next thing she'd be throwing up was her stomach. She reached up and pulled the leaver for the toilet to flush so that she wouldn't have to keep smelling it and get sick all over again from it. The whole time she was completely not looking forward to his response to her period being late.
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Post by John S. Rhodes on Nov 7, 2015 19:11:53 GMT
John had been waiting for a response, but her getting up and running to the bathroom wasn't exactly the one he was expecting or hoping for. John had seen enough people vomit in his lifetime to know what was coming and, despite his anger, he was right there to pull her long hair back for her as she threw up into the toilet. John spent a lot of time vomiting back in high school, so he didn't envy her... That didn't exactly erase his anger though. It was still rolling off of him in waves still and he silently fumed as she heaved up the contents of her stomach. He was eerily silent, honestly thinking that she'd picked up whatever stomach bug Elia had.
He made a bit of a face when she let her head rest against the toilet seat, but he refrained from making her lift it up. When she started saying that she was late, it took John a moment to actually register what she was talking about. "Jesus Christ, Kat," he said with a frustrated sigh, holding back her hair as she puked again. For a moment, he considered asking her if she knew what the hell birth control was, but he refrained. If she was pregnant, than that was just as much his fault as it was hers.
In that moment, he wasn't sure what to feel. He was still angry with her, but he wasn't going to yell at her for this. For the time being, their argument was pushed to the side. There wasn't much else to be said anyway. Neither of them could go back in time to change what they'd done and there was no way he was walking out on her and Elia now. As mad as John was with Kat, he still loved her. He'd never stopped and he never would. Knowing that made him a little bitter. He almost wished that he could hate her for keeping his daughter from him, but what good would that do anyway? He'd made a promise when he came home. He was going to do everything he could to win back the love of his life and her daughter. The only thing that had changed now was the fact that she was his daughter too.
When he was sure she was done throwing up, at least for the moment, John released her hair and stood up. Pressing the palms of his hands to his temples and rubbing them in frustration for a moment, John was trying to think through the migraine that was setting in. He was eerily silent, until he let his hands drop. "Stay here with Elia," he said, up and leaving the bathroom without another word. He sounded more frustrated than angry now and he knew that getting out of there, if even it was only for a few minutes, would help him to clear his mind.
Half an hour later, John was walking right back into the apartment with a bag from the local pharmacy in his hand. Shutting the door and locking it behind him, he went into the living room only to find her curled up on the couch. "Come on," he said, standing over her and offering his hand to help her off of the couch. He would throw her over his shoulder and carry her into the bathroom to take the pregnancy test he bought her if he had to. "Let's go. If it comes out positive this time, you have no excuse for keeping it from me." He was attempting to make light of what she'd done... attempting.
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Post by Katerina M. Montgomery on Nov 7, 2015 19:43:27 GMT
Katerina just nodded weakly as John told her to stay there with Elia, it wasn't like she was going to go out clubbing or anything at the moment. She staid there with her head over to toilet for another moment as she heard the front door open and shut again, making sure that it was over for the moment before standing and looking at herself in the mirror. God she looked like crap. Kat sighed as she grabbed a cup and filled it with water from the tap, rinsing her mouth out before grabbing her toothbrush and brushing her teeth and tongue like crazy to get the vomit taste out of her mouth. Her entire abdominal area hurt like a bitch after all of that.
After she brushed her teeth she turned off the light and shuffled herself down the hall, glancing into Elia's room to make sure the five year old was still asleep... and watched her for a moment. Everything had gotten so crazy, but one thing Kat knew was that little girl would always have her heart, she placed a hand over her stomach and thought about what it would mean if she was indeed pregnant again. After another moment she walked back down the hall into the living room and curled up on the couch, one of the decorative pillows pressed against her chest as she lay there.
She must have managed to doze off for a bit because the next thing she knew John was coming back in and standing over her, hand outstretched to help her up. The last thing she really wanted to do was move off of that couch but this needed to be done. They both needed to know for sure. She stifled a groan as she took his hand and let him help her up... then walked with him into the bathroom to take to pregnancy test. It was a good thing she hadn't peed in a while. It wasn't long until they were sitting there waiting for the two minutes to be up.
Kat was sitting there on the toilet, watching the numbers tick down on her phone timer and practically jumped despite that as the alarm went off. She silenced it and then glanced at John before picking up the test. The fact that she had already figured she was pregnant didn't exactly prepare her for seeing the two pink lines obvious against the white background of the test. "Positive..." Katerina said aloud though her voice was just barely above a whisper. "It's positive." If it had been any other time and place she probably would have been excited about that and the fact that John had been there this time for this experience... but she honestly didn't know how to feel at the moment. Kat decided to wait for John's reaction to figure that out.
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Post by John S. Rhodes on Nov 8, 2015 1:38:07 GMT
John didn't know what to say or do, so he remained silent. Lounging inside the empty tub with another beer in his hand, he leaned his head back to stare up at the ceiling. What was he going to do if it was positive? It was a thought that kept turning over in his head, poking and prodding him. The answer was obvious. He was going to do what needed to be done. He'd already been planning on staying. He'd planned on taking his rightful spot as Elia's father, so what was one more?
The more he thought about it, the more John wanted the test to be positive. This was his chance at redemption. He couldn't make up for missing out on everything that had happened with Elia, but he would have the opportunity to experience being a father from the start. As for him and Kat... he glanced at her as she sat on the toilet, her eyes on her phone, watching the time with intense focus. He couldn't stay mad at her. He didn't want to. He hadn't fully forgiven her yet for what she'd kept from him, but he wasn't angry anymore. He hadn't been there for her the first time around, but he was sure as hell going to be there this time. John had made the mistake of letting her go once and he wasn't going to make that mistake ever again.
He had every right to walk out the door, file for custody, and be bitter for the rest of his life. Not many people would blame him, surely, but why would he want to be bitter? He's wanted nothing more than to have a family with her and this was that dream coming to fruition... just not in the way he'd anticipated. Gazing at her, he couldn't help but imagine what could be... a ring on her finger, her stomach rounded and protruding, his baby growing inside of her, those big brown eyes gazing back at him with a soft, playful expression of love and adoration. Just picturing it made his breath hitch and his jeans feel a little too snug. This woman knew how to set his world on fire. How is it she was capable of making him so angry, only to reign him right back in again?
When the timer went off, she looked over at him and his expression was still rather impassive. Setting his now half empty beer down, he climbed out of the tub as she picked up the test. He barely heard her when she practically whispered that it was positive. He didn't need to process the information though. He'd already anticipated this and resigned himself to being a father... again... in the few minutes that he'd been lounging in her tub.
There was hardly even a pause. He knew that she was waiting for his reaction and he gave it to her instantly. Two strides was all it took to get to her, his right hand reaching for her face as the other grabbed hold of her waist, pulling her to him. John and Kat had kissed many times before, but that moment, when he crushed his lips against hers in a passionate frenzy, was perhaps the most intense, heartfelt kiss he'd ever placed upon her lips. They were going to have a baby. John had never felt quite so proud in his entire life, his fury from earlier all but forgotten.
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Post by Katerina M. Montgomery on Nov 8, 2015 5:03:03 GMT
Katerina didn't know what she expected him to do when it came out positive... but pulling her up from where she sat and kissing her in a way he had never kissed her before definitely hadn't been one of those things she expected. Not that you would find her complaining about it. If he was going to be excited, then she was going to be also... she'd start worrying about stuff later. Right this minute she really just wanted to kiss him back. One of her hands had his shirt fisted inside it and the other was around his neck as if to keep him up next to her. For a moment the pain in her stomach and abdominal muscles was completely forgotten, and he was the one making her forget.
Kat finally pulled away from the kiss, but only slightly as she looked up into those gorgeous blue eyes of his and nipped at his bottom lip teasingly. She was pregnant... the thought was more and more becoming real each moment that she had to process it. Things were going to be different this time around, Kat knew that he would be there for everything... he definitely wouldn't want to miss out on stuff a second time. For a moment the guilt of having kept Elia a secret washed over her again but she pushed it away. There was nothing either of them could do now about it except try and move forward. Taking his hand from her waist she slid it over her still flat stomach, if her pregnancy with Elia was anything to go off of though it wouldn't take her too long to begin to show.
"Come on, let's go back into the kitchen. I got you something... it's probably more appropriate now anyways." She said taking his hand and walking back through the living room and to the kitchen. Kat dug around in the shopping bag she had and took out a mug with a t-shirt inside, both of which said "#1 Dad" on them. It had been her idea of a way to tell him he was Elia's father... but of course that had gone all kinds of wrong. Now seemed like a better time anyway. He definitely had earned that t-shirt and mug though in the last month... he was a natural at the whole parenting thing. It was strange but that fact made Katerina proud. And now he was going to become a dad all over again. Just wait until the family found out.
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Post by John S. Rhodes on Nov 8, 2015 20:40:11 GMT
It was all so surreal. When Kat took his hand and held it against her stomach, he leaned his forehead against hers. It was painful to know that he didn't get to experience this with her the first time and he briefly wondered how far he would have made it in his military career if he had known that she was pregnant with his baby back then. Could he have really missed out one all those important milestones willingly? It didn't matter now though. He was home and that was where he was staying. He wasn't going to miss anything else, with Elia or the new baby.
All he could do as she took his hand and pulled him toward the kitchen was follow behind her. "You really have a way of making a man go crazy, I hope you know that," he said to her as she pulled a mug and a tee shirt out of her shopping bag. He couldn't help but smirk at the sight of them and arched a brow at her. "Thanks, though I definitely don't feel like the number one dad right now. So Elia has no idea?" he asked, setting the gifts aside. Moving so that he was up against her, John lifted her onto the counter and stood between her knees.
"I want to be the one to tell her." He was serious and thoughtful when he spoke, his eyes searching hers. He wasn't going to let Elia go on thinking that her father just up and disappeared and he wanted her to know exactly who her father was. "When she's feeling better, I want to take her out for a day and tell her." It was important to him and extremely so. A part of him was afraid of how she might react. Elia was only five, but what if she harbored resentment toward him? What if she didn't want him to be her father? Why the hell was he afraid of a five year old?
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Post by Katerina M. Montgomery on Nov 9, 2015 5:28:28 GMT
"You certainly are, she adores you even if she doesn't know who you really are yet. Though she's smart so she might have figured it out already." Kat said as he lifted her onto the counter and stood between her knees. For a moment it felt just like old times. If they could just forget the elephant in the room they could almost imagine that the last five years hadn't happened. But of course they had and they couldn't change that. "That's a great idea. She'll be so excited when you tell her. She will probably hate me though." She added looking down from his eyes. Just the thought of her baby girl hating her made her feel sick all over again, though that probably still had to do partly with the fact that she was pregnant again.
Katerina picked up his hands, twining their fingers together as she looked back up at him with her brown eyes, tears starting to spring up unbidden. She would have blamed her hormones if it weren't for the fact that her heart actually ached. "I shouldn't have let you walk away. I should have seen through it all and realized why you were doing it. You were just so damn convincing." Kat told him quietly needing to apologize again even though she would probably never be able to truly make up for keeping such a thing from him for so long.
"I'm sorry, and I know that that doesn't even begin to make up for what I did..." She looked away from him again, her heart feeling like it was breaking all over again. Katerina was terrified that he would never truly be able to forgive her for it, or ever trust her again... but she had to ask the question, had to know the answer even if it hurt her more than anything else. After all, didn't she deserve it if he never really forgave her? she still couldn't bring herself to look at him as she asked quietly "Do you think you'll ever be able to-... to forgive me?" Her voice broke for a moment and she blinked a few times as she tried hard to keep the tears from falling but one managed to break free. She felt like she couldn't breathe as she waited for his answer.
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Post by John S. Rhodes on Nov 9, 2015 6:09:20 GMT
"She's not going to hate you," John insisted, shaking his head at the absurdity. "She's five... She'll probably only care about what I'm getting her for Christmas now. If she even cares about why I haven't been around, you let me deal with those answers." He wasn't going to tell his five year old daughter that he broke up with her mother and her mother didn't tell him that she was pregnant in retaliation. She didn't need to know that. All she needed to know was that she had a father and that he would be there for her from now on.
It killed him to see her so heartbroken over this, even if what she had done was really pretty awful and in no way trivial. "We can't change the past, Kat. Believe me, if I could, I would go back and stop myself from walking away from you to begin with," he responded, tucking her hair behind her ear. "I'm here now though and I'm not going anywhere. I promise you that. You, Elia, and the baby are everything to me."
At the sight of her tears, John took her face in his hands, using his thumb to wipe the moisture of a falling tear from her soft cheek. Could he forgive her? It wasn't going to be easy and it wasn't going to be instant, that was for sure. "Honestly? Yes. I'm not saying it's going to happen overnight, KitKat, but I can't spend the rest of my life harboring any anger or resentment toward you. I love you too much to not forgive you."
This woman had a way of seizing his heart the way no other woman ever could. "I would just prefer it if you tell me when you're pregnant with our next few kids, after this next one." He smiled at her, trying to make light of the situation... but also reinforcing the fact that he was staying and he was hers no matter what. There was no woman he would rather be with.
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Post by Katerina M. Montgomery on Nov 9, 2015 16:40:18 GMT
Kat looked back up at him as he spoke and she made herself breathe as he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. Trust him to successfully waylay her fears just like that. God she loved this man, five years hadn't done anything but make that love stronger. It made the pain in her heart lessen to hear that he was willing to forgive her, even if it would take some time, it did a great deal in comforting her... as did his claims of not going anywhere. She even managed a bit of a laugh at his last comment about telling him when she was pregnant from now on.
Kat reached up and held his wrists in her hands as she said "It's good to hear that you'll be sticking around. I don't think my heart could take you leaving again. I had half a mind to tie you to the bed and hobble you like that woman did in the movie Misery." She was kidding of course, though the idea of tying him to the bed did elicit some excitement from her. Okay maybe a lot of excitement. But that was probably best left for another day... not that she would say no to it now.
Kat pulled his hands from her face and set them at her waist the put her arms around his neck and kissed him. She wanted to touch him, feel that he was really there right then because she never intended on letting him go again. The first time had been a mistake, that wouldn't happen again. She paused in kissing him and asked "Just how many kids are you planning on us having by the way... because I'm not going to stay young and beautiful forever you know?" Kat tugged his lip with her teeth as she awaited his answer... Was it terrible of her that she had just found out she was pregnant again and was more interested in having sex with this man that worrying about it?
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Post by John S. Rhodes on Nov 9, 2015 17:49:29 GMT
"Right, cause that's not crazy or anything," John said, cringing a little at the thought of being hobbled. Christ, he'd nearly been blown up overseas and he'd been shot... but the thought of being hobbled? Fuck that shit. Still, he smiled at her joke and leaned in to whisper into her ear. "I think I'd rather tie you to the bed..."
He willingly allowed her to place his hands on her waist and he gripped her firmly as they kissed. When she stopped to ask him this though, he laughed lightly at her. "Three or four, give or take, but if any pop out acting like me, we're selling them to the circus... cause I can't handle a kid like me and you know nobody will babysit..." His mother had always had a hard time getting someone to agree to babysitting him. He'd been left with Ethel quite a lot though and was probably the reason that she was a little senile.
"Sweetheart, you will always be beautiful..." he said, rolling his eyes and kissing her neck. "Even when you're old, and wrinkly, and your tits are so saggy that they drag on the floor..." He chuckled at that, taking that moment to let his hand wander up the front of her shirt, seizing her right breast and gently biting her neck as he pressed himself closer to her. He was torturing himself by not taking off her bra to feel the peek of her bare breast beneath the fabric. He couldn't help but let out a groan against her soft skin as he felt himself hardening, his jeans feeling all too constricting.
Pulling back to look into her eyes, he let go of her breast only to grab her thighs and pull her roughly and more closely to his pulsating groin. "You're going to be a hot old bag," he said to her, blue eyes sparking with a devilish humor. He was feigning the idea that a saggy old woman turned him on, but really... Kat turned him on no matter what and he wanted nothing more than to grow old with her. His worst fear during that helicopter ride was that he wouldn't have that opportunity.
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